Picture Perfect

Worth a thousand words

That I can't explain

Feelings of explosion

Kept secret inside

It makes my heart beat

And break apart too

It sits there alone 

Lonely, like you? 

Friends

Over the past two weeks, I've run a half-marathon, got my wisdom teeth taken out, experienced a lot of grief for friends who are experiencing trauma, and had a family member go through surgery.  Being single in the windy is a little more poignant when there are so many things going on at the same time.  Especially when, like me, you are not just single, but also far away from biological family.  That's when the family we choose becomes more valuable.

The older I get, the more I am focused on the quality of my friendships and less focused on the quantity.  My small network of chosen family in the Chicago-land area is amazing.  I'm so thankful for their love and support.  Starting with my friend who not only cheered for me at the finish of my first half-marathon, but also signed up and did it; to the friend who waited for me to finish my surgery, took me to get my meds and milkshake, and then took me home.  These are small acts to some, but huge acts for me.

I have friends who check-in on me via texts (true friends know this is the best way to reach me) just to let me know they are thinking about me.  After experiencing this, I realize how much that means.  While I was in a great deal of pain, these small messages helped my heart, which I'm sure helped me heal faster.  It also makes me want to be this type of friend to them and others.  I appreciate those who saw me, knowing that I do not like to show weakness in public, and still asked how I was doing.  While smiling, I would give them a very truthful answer about my pain tolerance (or lack thereof).  Their small hug of encouragement and/or prayer gave me hope for a better day.  And although it may have only been for a moment, that moment of love, gave me a moment to focus on something other than the pain.  This is what I love about friendship.  Friendship isn't always spas, ballgames, and group activities.  Friendship is sometimes just being there.

Being there in a meaningful way, which can include a concert, lunch date, or phone call.  Whatever adds meaning in the moment, is just as important, and I'd say even more important, than any robotic form of care and concern.  I challenge all of you (as well as myself), to make your relationships have meaning.  Make them more than just a check in a box of things you've done.  Make them joyous moments, grief-filled moments, shared moments of love, and moments that leave a lasting impression.  (No pressure!)

Phenomenal Woman

(One of my favorite poets has passed away today, 5/28/14. Thank you Maya Angelou, you are a phenomenal woman. Here is one of her poems.)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Human

Like a vase

Broken on the ground

Glue the pieces back together 

Until the next time around

Look at it

Just sitting there

Has the same form

Can still be filled with air

But when the time comes

To fill it with more

Whether water, love, or trust

They seep through its core

Chinks in the armor

Won't go away

But with better hands and tools

They can reform the clay

Build a new base

And keep adding more

Don't toss it and throw it

Leave it firm on the floor

Like a vase

Sitting on the ground

Hold it all in

Don't make a sound

Yeah!

Wasn't sure at first

Is it really?

Can't be. 

Or can it?

Want every minute

Think every second 

Somehow 

It happened. 

It snuck up

Like a fox

Grabbed a hold

And won't let go 

What's left to do?

Enjoy the ride?

Hope it's a ride

For two. 

Summer Nights

Summer lovin'
Summer nights
Are they one in the same?

My heart 
Still skips a beat
At the sound of your name

Summer lovin'
Summer nights
Where are you?

I've been waiting
And aching
To know what to do.

Summer lovin'
Summer nights
You left me alone.

I'm a little bit stronger
I can breathe
On my own.

Summer lovin'
Summer nights
You are coming again.

I'm ready for you
With fun, sun,
And my friends.

Watched Pot

Boiling over

No place to go

Can't touch the fire

Might get burned

Heart beats

A mile a minute

Waiting on you 

To finally say it

Speak those words 

I want to hear

I'll speak them back

Far or near

Happy smiles

Long goodbyes

Make it real

We have the time 

The Wave

Get on your board
Prepare for the ride
Relax and stand
Feel the glide

Don't crash too soon
Or be left behind
Take it to the shore
Ease in and slide

The Fosters

I have a lot of love. . . for people, things, entertainment, sports, and life.  I say that first because, I'm about to talk about my selfishness.  I don't have children, which is a good thing.  I like that I only have to care about myself.  That the consequences of my life mainly only affect me.  Yes, that is a little selfish of me.  Too often I have to tell people they need to make a choice - Be a parent or be selfish (for lack of a better description).  Selfish choices can include choosing to be a drug addict, young 20-something, wife, girlfriend, streetwalker, and the like.  

The difference between me and them is that I chose to be selfish, without having a child.  My choice does not leave a child or group of children motherless or fatherless.  If I had a child, there is no doubt that I would make the other choice.  I would choose to be a parent.  Parents are not perfect.  They make mistakes, forget dates, and sometimes yell too loud.  But they are there.  They love, provide, care, and will do anything to protect their children.  

Often how a person parents influences their children's later relational abilities or inabilities.  The men I date or will date have already been raised by their parents.  Hopefully.  However, for the future daters of the world, please make the choice sooner rather than later.  Either don't have children, give them up for adoption, or BE PARENTS. Thanks and much love from The Windy.