Over the past two weeks, I've run a half-marathon, got my wisdom teeth taken out, experienced a lot of grief for friends who are experiencing trauma, and had a family member go through surgery. Being single in the windy is a little more poignant when there are so many things going on at the same time. Especially when, like me, you are not just single, but also far away from biological family. That's when the family we choose becomes more valuable.
The older I get, the more I am focused on the quality of my friendships and less focused on the quantity. My small network of chosen family in the Chicago-land area is amazing. I'm so thankful for their love and support. Starting with my friend who not only cheered for me at the finish of my first half-marathon, but also signed up and did it; to the friend who waited for me to finish my surgery, took me to get my meds and milkshake, and then took me home. These are small acts to some, but huge acts for me.
I have friends who check-in on me via texts (true friends know this is the best way to reach me) just to let me know they are thinking about me. After experiencing this, I realize how much that means. While I was in a great deal of pain, these small messages helped my heart, which I'm sure helped me heal faster. It also makes me want to be this type of friend to them and others. I appreciate those who saw me, knowing that I do not like to show weakness in public, and still asked how I was doing. While smiling, I would give them a very truthful answer about my pain tolerance (or lack thereof). Their small hug of encouragement and/or prayer gave me hope for a better day. And although it may have only been for a moment, that moment of love, gave me a moment to focus on something other than the pain. This is what I love about friendship. Friendship isn't always spas, ballgames, and group activities. Friendship is sometimes just being there.
Being there in a meaningful way, which can include a concert, lunch date, or phone call. Whatever adds meaning in the moment, is just as important, and I'd say even more important, than any robotic form of care and concern. I challenge all of you (as well as myself), to make your relationships have meaning. Make them more than just a check in a box of things you've done. Make them joyous moments, grief-filled moments, shared moments of love, and moments that leave a lasting impression. (No pressure!)
