Younger

I love the show Younger.  A 40 year old pretends to be 26.  It's fabulous.  Not because she's pretending, but because you realize her 40 year old self is so much better than her fake 26  year old one.  (No spoilers)

Sometimes I'm mistaken for being 20-something, or I just play along with being 20-something.  It's fun.  But in reality, I'm a happy 36 year old.  There's wisdom with age, and so much more I want to learn.  Despite my age, I still require some level of thought when a man approaches me.  I recognize that now online dating is a great means for people to connect.  I've had some nice dates using online dating sites.  Those men knew how to reach out to me in a respectful way and start a conversation.  I like that. I think there should be some effort in the approach.  By effort, I mean, proper sentence structure and maybe a question about who I am to help the conversation.

It's hard out here for us ladies.  What's going on?  It's so bad my friends are creating boyfriends for me. Lol. 

(Photo credit: SM)

Online dating is kind of sad.  It wasn't always this way.  I won't even address the level of negative prejudice apparent through profile pages.  I just want to highlight the lack of effort when contacting a woman online.  Without disclosing names or pictures, I will give you a few of the intro messages I've received from men within the last month. These are tame compared to some I've received in the past.  (i.e. Hi sexy lips. . .) This is the very first piece of communication I have from these men.  Men who have access to my profile and the information provided there. 

I will attempt to keep the capitalization, grammar, and punctuation (or lack thereof) the same as it was written to me.  A typo here or there is okay, but bad grammar as a thing, is NOT okay.   The age of the author is in parenthesis.  No doubt there are great men available.  I know some really great men between the ages of 27 - 43.  But these online sites can't seem to find any for me.  LOL.  So in the meantime, I'll just chuckle at America's education system.  Someone taught these men.  And someone or multiple someones allow them to make this type of first impression, or else they'd try a different approach.  Ladies, I implore you, don't accept mediocrity or just plain laziness.

This, my friends, is not how you should approach me for a date, in person or in text. . .

1. (35) Good morning sweetheart

2.  (32) Hey gorgeous

3.  (44) Hi my name is ___ you look beautiful nice smile

4.  (33) How u doing dis morning I hope good looking for a special lady I can take out to dinner.  Have good conversation  Long walks downtown  I am independent man single man no kids I wnt get married

5.  (44) Hiello its nice to see good people really enjoyed there selves I'm trying to do the friendly people person site alright, so you take care an finish up your walk out!

6.  (37)  Good morning beautiful women I'm j____ afro Puerto Rico man looking for a real woman like u boo I work I don't have kids I live in Country Club Hills Illinois boo

2nd message - You are xo beautiful

3rd message - I wish I was your man

7.  (35) Hello beautiful

8.  (42) Hey gorgeous your looking for me! :)

9.  (33)  Heyy there

10.  (34)  Good morning, love what type of attorney are u


There you have it.  The 2016 approach to dating.  No thank you!

The Choice - Let God Decide

It's been a busy year already. I'm so excited to keep living this life God has given me. I'm still Single in the Windy, but with so much love surrounding me, I forget to posts about my adventures. 

Lately I've been overwhelmed by God's grace and provisions for my life. It seems cliché, but I have friends and family that I love. I have made the choice to recognize how huge that blessing is in my life. 

I sit and watch the news, like most of you, and pray for the end to all the pain. Whether it's a mother losing her child to a senseless murder or hatred being thrown toward other humans because of their religion, race, sexual orientation, gender, nationality or social status; it's all sad to me. But in the middle of the grief, I'm always reminded there is joy. Joy for them, you, and me. The joy of knowing the Lord and His promises. 

I have unspeakable joy and sometimes it brings me to tears. It's easy to be single and complain. Humans are fallible.  Extremely so at times. So when I'm hurt, I process that hurt. I pinpoint what about the action or inaction of another person has caused me pain. Then I release it to God. Sometimes that means I never have to do anything, except forgive. Other times, it means I wait for God to guide me in my actions after. But what it doesn't do, is steal my joy. I remain content that God can handle anything. I know this because I've witnessed Him do it over and over again in my life and others. 

During the extended periods of hurt and pain, He uses me and strengthens my faith in Him. It's humbling to realize he trust me enough to allow me to experience strife, knowing I will continue to follow Him. He places people in my life to help me endure in those lower moments.  He's given me parents whose love is always there. I have siblings who I can call anytime. My friends keep multiplying. I see all those blessings as God's way of giving me a hug when I need it. I love hugs!

I made the choice to accept Christ into my heart over 30 years ago, and it remains the absolute best choice I've ever made in my life.