Grey's Anatomy

The Cure

Hit your knees

Say the words

Wait and see

It all works

Eyes lock

In open space

A twinkle or smile

A happy place

The invitation

The expectation

A good time

And first embrace

A broken record

You don’t care

It’s a soft comfort

Always there

Hit your knees

Say the words

Smile and know

It did work

Humpty Dumpty

Broken

I didn’t know

The pull of love

Until

It pulled me down

I didn’t feel

The pain of loss

Until

Pain I found

I didn’t want

The tears to come

But

Tears, they did fall

I didn’t want

My heart to break

But

It’s broken, soul and all

Pretty in Pink

I grew up in the 80's and 90's loving John Hughes movies like everyone else.  But unlike many other girls my age, I was not obsessed with pink.  I was obsessed with being perfect.  I've tried to figure out where this perfection need came from, without much success.

I'm sure it does not surprise you to find out that I'm NOT perfect.  And while I made great strides and had generally great successes in most things, there are two areas where perfection was (and is still) hard to attain.  The one I'll discuss here is my inability to judge male romantic (for lack of a better word) opinions about me.  Oh, I'm great at dictating the love lives of strangers and friends.  I can detect and ascertain how many different types of people feel about one another.  However, when it comes to me. . .it is a sad state of affairs.

I've hoped that over the years I've learned and grown from past mishaps in this area.  I'm not an idiot.  I know when the super cheesy dude is hitting on me.  I'm talking about the "real possibility" interest here.  I never know when I'm "just one of the guys" or "potential interest".  Men have told me years later of their past interest in me.  While flattering, it doesn't help.  Why didn't these men ask me out?  There have been a few explanations given.  But nothing definitive.  You know "I thought you were interested in someone else", or "I liked a bunch of girls at the same time, I didn't know who to choose", or the best of them all "I didn't want to ruin our great friendship."  I don't know about you, but I'd love the guy I date and eventually marry to be someone I have a great friendship with.  Haven't they seen "Some Kind of Wonderful"?  I guess that's why I have this blog.  So that some type of enjoyment can come out of my dating mishaps and missed snaps. :)

Raise your glasses, cheers to more blogging and a John Hughes ending at some time in my future.

(Note:  This post was much funnier in my head before I started writing.  Then as I wrote, it just seemed blah.  Oh well, here it is anyway.)

Heal

One shining moment

Dulled by time

Patience is a virtue

But no virtue of mine

I took what I wanted

I used it at will

Now bruised and battered

I hope it will heal

My future is unfolding

Change is a must

Flowing in slow motion

Afraid I will bust

I had what I wanted

I called it at will

Left bruised and battered

I pray it will heal

Dusk turns to morning

Sun lights the day

My mind starts to wander

I’ve said all I can say

I hate what I wanted

I caved to my will

Hurt, bruised, and battered

My God, let it heal!

Act Like a Man and be a Man

It's high time, I post again.  Don't you think?  No? Oh well, here it is anyway.

On a few of my first dates men have asked me to tell them what I want to achieve in my life.  My prose is not eloquently articulating the tone of college-speak this questions sounds like live.  But, I have a few thoughts regarding this question.

I'm familiar with "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steven Harvey.  If you are going to bite his advice, get it right.  Per Mr. Harvey, women (I repeat WOMEN) should ask men their short- and long-term goals.  This makes far more sense to me as a question, even if it's a man asking a woman.  Equal opportunities, blah blah blah.  But I digress.

When I'm asked this question, it comes across as though life hasn't happened, and I'm still waiting to get a career or achieve something.  You know, it's like "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Well, although I deny it on a regular basis, I have grown up.  I'm a loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and attorney.  It's who I AM, not who I wish to be.  I have already achieved many things I'd hoped to when I was younger.  This leads me to my second point.

I realize with these men, many have not achieved things they hoped as a kid, or they didn't start setting goals until they were an adult.  I am blessed.  I was a goal setter almost from birth.  Not only that, I set goals and I achieved them.  This seemed normal to me when I grew up, and did not seem to be so atypical.  What I am realizing more and more, is that this is not how everyone else has operated.  Even as an adult, if there is something I want to achieve, I develop a plan, and do it.  No, I have not done everything there is to do.  I still have short- and long-term goals.  Which is another reason why, THAT is a better question.  My answer isn't much different, but it will include more short-term ideas and things I'm working toward.

When I'm asked about what I wish to achieve, I politely say, I wish to continue the way I am.  And hopefully grow and be a stronger Christian and person doing God's will.  I don't know if this is the answer the man expects.  But it is the truth.  Maybe I should pull out my bucket list. . .err create a bucket list first, then pull out said bucket list and hand it over.

What are your thoughts?

Traditionalist

I guess I am a little bit of a traditionalist.  I don't necesssarily want to go back to the 50's dating lifestyle, but I am from the south.  And this southern gal, thinks it is okay for some things to follow a traditional path.  Specifically, I like traditional rules for a man asking a woman out.

In the world of online dating, social networks, texting, sexting, and the like, some of the basics for "How to begin a relationship" have been lost.  Men, if you are interested in a woman, you need to ask her out.  She may say no.  And if so, just move on.  Some people mesh well, and some people don't.  If you are asking solely because you think that a woman is cute, maybe you should reconsider.  You should know something about her as a person.  She should know something about you as a person.  At the end of the day, just ask.  Do not expect her to ask you.  Do not text her "hey", in hopes that the conversation will turn into the two of you "hanging out".  "Hanging out" is not an acceptable first date.  Plan something.  Go to an event or go out to eat.  Stop being lazy with love.  Just act!

Heartbreak Hotel

My hotel here in California is the opposite of heartbreak. I have a beautiful view and great accommodations. I have been blessed to be able to see so many beautiful places in our nation and beyond. Now I get to add the beautiful houses and greenery of Anaheim to that list.

One thing I have not seen a lot of is heartbreak. God protected me until I was ready. He knew I had so much love and heartache from humanity that the eros kind of heartbreak would have to wait. And although I still have the storge love and pain, I can move to the next part of my heart journey. Which by proxy increases my philia love for friends and family. More on that in a sec.

As I navigated around, above, and below eros love, God gave me the gift of discernment (and a quick trigger finger). I can NEXT a flavor before he says "Hey baby" (in the Joey voice). And believe me, I have many times. But now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I am opening myself up to more experiences and opportunities.

Although I haven't had the gallon of ice cream, burn his stuff kind of heartbreak, I have been able to relate more to where those emotions originate. A lot of it is disappointment. Disappointments are the dents and cracks before the big shatter. One or two can last a long time, but too many at once and the shatter is close behind. As I mentioned earlier, choosing to delve deeper into my own heart has helped me with my philia love to friends. I'm more empathetic now. Most have chosen to take chance after chance with love, but are better for it. Loving and being loved along the way. Is it worth it? I don't know. But I guess that's why I am venturing farther along the path. So now I understand even more why my friend doesn't like to be friends with any of her exes. Agree or not agree with the philosophy I get it. I understand that decision not to be reminded of the hurt. I understand the choice to avoid reliving the joy you can no longer experience in that particular way with that particular person. SN: Forgiveness and friendship are two different things. You have to forgive so you don't harbor bitterness in your heart. If it's already breaking don't let bitterness be the only piece left. That should be the first piece to go. But I digress. . .

Dating is a hot mess. There are definitely different flavor categories to navigate. Which route is less rocky? We've got OCD Blvd, Immature Park, Ultra Busy Hwy, Food Nazi Court, Militant Speedway, and many others. Let's get on Ultra Busy Hwy and see how that flows.

What have you learned from heartbreak?