Not quite Howie Mandel . . .

I want what I want when I want it!

In my early life, I generally got what I wanted, when I wanted it.  Let's be honest, I wasn't asking for the moon and stars.  It usually involved a teddy bear or jewelry.  Shocker!  But I quickly learned what steps I needed to take to get what I wanted in life.  Or my super nice and super gracious parents rewarded me for my good behavior and hard work for my birthday, Christmas, or "Just Because". "Just Because" rewards are awesome! (side note:  I love my parents bunches.  The fact that they spoiled me is just bonus!)

As a person with OCD (read: Obsessive Control Disorder) [Yes, I know what it really stands for.] this general scheme of operating worked for me.  My actions controlled what I got.  Simple.  But as I've gotten older, this isn't as easy of a scheme as I'd like.  Now I don't control everything.  If I did, this world would be so much better.  (But that's info for another blog.)  I can't come up with an iron-clad plan for getting the next "whatever" I want.  Some of those "whatevers" are controlled by someone else.  Boo-hiss.  If that person is competent and sensible, I still get what I want.  So, I mean, that's okay.  I guess.  But when they operate and decide differently than I, it sends my OCD into overdrive.  This is compounded by the fact that I hate losing anything, let alone control (for lack of a better word) in more than one area of my life at a time.  Then I'm in full OCD Overload Mode.

This mode is scary!  Even for me.  I've developed my own coping skills.  Why my own, you ask?  Mainly because I've never actually seen a professional for this diagnosis.  [disclaimer:  You should see a professional for any real diagnosis or mental health issue.]   I digress.  When I'm in OCD Overload Mode, I become frustrated a lot easier, I eat more crap, and I vent to my friends even more than normal.

So in a nutshell, lately I've been an irritable, fatty, blabbermouth. :)  The end!

. . .but you can still touch me.  I mean, if I give you permission.