Heal

One shining moment

Dulled by time

Patience is a virtue

But no virtue of mine

I took what I wanted

I used it at will

Now bruised and battered

I hope it will heal

My future is unfolding

Change is a must

Flowing in slow motion

Afraid I will bust

I had what I wanted

I called it at will

Left bruised and battered

I pray it will heal

Dusk turns to morning

Sun lights the day

My mind starts to wander

I’ve said all I can say

I hate what I wanted

I caved to my will

Hurt, bruised, and battered

My God, let it heal!

Act Like a Man and be a Man

It's high time, I post again.  Don't you think?  No? Oh well, here it is anyway.

On a few of my first dates men have asked me to tell them what I want to achieve in my life.  My prose is not eloquently articulating the tone of college-speak this questions sounds like live.  But, I have a few thoughts regarding this question.

I'm familiar with "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steven Harvey.  If you are going to bite his advice, get it right.  Per Mr. Harvey, women (I repeat WOMEN) should ask men their short- and long-term goals.  This makes far more sense to me as a question, even if it's a man asking a woman.  Equal opportunities, blah blah blah.  But I digress.

When I'm asked this question, it comes across as though life hasn't happened, and I'm still waiting to get a career or achieve something.  You know, it's like "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Well, although I deny it on a regular basis, I have grown up.  I'm a loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and attorney.  It's who I AM, not who I wish to be.  I have already achieved many things I'd hoped to when I was younger.  This leads me to my second point.

I realize with these men, many have not achieved things they hoped as a kid, or they didn't start setting goals until they were an adult.  I am blessed.  I was a goal setter almost from birth.  Not only that, I set goals and I achieved them.  This seemed normal to me when I grew up, and did not seem to be so atypical.  What I am realizing more and more, is that this is not how everyone else has operated.  Even as an adult, if there is something I want to achieve, I develop a plan, and do it.  No, I have not done everything there is to do.  I still have short- and long-term goals.  Which is another reason why, THAT is a better question.  My answer isn't much different, but it will include more short-term ideas and things I'm working toward.

When I'm asked about what I wish to achieve, I politely say, I wish to continue the way I am.  And hopefully grow and be a stronger Christian and person doing God's will.  I don't know if this is the answer the man expects.  But it is the truth.  Maybe I should pull out my bucket list. . .err create a bucket list first, then pull out said bucket list and hand it over.

What are your thoughts?

Traditionalist

I guess I am a little bit of a traditionalist.  I don't necesssarily want to go back to the 50's dating lifestyle, but I am from the south.  And this southern gal, thinks it is okay for some things to follow a traditional path.  Specifically, I like traditional rules for a man asking a woman out.

In the world of online dating, social networks, texting, sexting, and the like, some of the basics for "How to begin a relationship" have been lost.  Men, if you are interested in a woman, you need to ask her out.  She may say no.  And if so, just move on.  Some people mesh well, and some people don't.  If you are asking solely because you think that a woman is cute, maybe you should reconsider.  You should know something about her as a person.  She should know something about you as a person.  At the end of the day, just ask.  Do not expect her to ask you.  Do not text her "hey", in hopes that the conversation will turn into the two of you "hanging out".  "Hanging out" is not an acceptable first date.  Plan something.  Go to an event or go out to eat.  Stop being lazy with love.  Just act!

Heartbreak Hotel

My hotel here in California is the opposite of heartbreak. I have a beautiful view and great accommodations. I have been blessed to be able to see so many beautiful places in our nation and beyond. Now I get to add the beautiful houses and greenery of Anaheim to that list.

One thing I have not seen a lot of is heartbreak. God protected me until I was ready. He knew I had so much love and heartache from humanity that the eros kind of heartbreak would have to wait. And although I still have the storge love and pain, I can move to the next part of my heart journey. Which by proxy increases my philia love for friends and family. More on that in a sec.

As I navigated around, above, and below eros love, God gave me the gift of discernment (and a quick trigger finger). I can NEXT a flavor before he says "Hey baby" (in the Joey voice). And believe me, I have many times. But now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I am opening myself up to more experiences and opportunities.

Although I haven't had the gallon of ice cream, burn his stuff kind of heartbreak, I have been able to relate more to where those emotions originate. A lot of it is disappointment. Disappointments are the dents and cracks before the big shatter. One or two can last a long time, but too many at once and the shatter is close behind. As I mentioned earlier, choosing to delve deeper into my own heart has helped me with my philia love to friends. I'm more empathetic now. Most have chosen to take chance after chance with love, but are better for it. Loving and being loved along the way. Is it worth it? I don't know. But I guess that's why I am venturing farther along the path. So now I understand even more why my friend doesn't like to be friends with any of her exes. Agree or not agree with the philosophy I get it. I understand that decision not to be reminded of the hurt. I understand the choice to avoid reliving the joy you can no longer experience in that particular way with that particular person. SN: Forgiveness and friendship are two different things. You have to forgive so you don't harbor bitterness in your heart. If it's already breaking don't let bitterness be the only piece left. That should be the first piece to go. But I digress. . .

Dating is a hot mess. There are definitely different flavor categories to navigate. Which route is less rocky? We've got OCD Blvd, Immature Park, Ultra Busy Hwy, Food Nazi Court, Militant Speedway, and many others. Let's get on Ultra Busy Hwy and see how that flows.

What have you learned from heartbreak?

Spice of Life

Sometimes being single means you get to flirt with the hot flavor helping you from a business. This flavor we will call Chile (as in hot as a chile pepper). And did I mention Chile is sweet too?

I had to visit a business for 3 days straight. (It's not important why). In this circumstance, I would normally be annoyed by day 2, but not this time. I was a little pleased when he asked if I could come back. Note: I think my issue could have been resolved over the phone with other people in his company. But, Chile, did not want me to have to deal with them. Each day, he graciously dealt with crazies, while I just observed his beautiful face (ahem, and body). The first day, I was with him for 2 hours. Can you say you've gotten 2 in-person hours this week staring at pure deliciousness? (Yes, I know the men of the hotlympics have caused many a heart to flutter this week. This is even better.)

But, I digress. Chile is more than a hot flavor. We immediately hit it off when the subject of football and fantasy football came up. We have similar strategies on how to take down opponents and also shared extra tips with one another. For those of you who do not know me personally, this is very encouraging. It is hard for me to find a nice guy who also shares my love of football. He also has a healthy (by my definition) appreciation for Kevin Johnson. (This flavor is going for the gold!)

So, long story short, Chile is calling me Monday. I hope there is more to report next week.

Katniss, Real or Not Real?

The pseudo-boyfriend is an unspoken benefit of being single. What? You haven't heard of him? You probably know him by a different name. You know, he comes in many forms. He's the best friend who goes to social functions with you, the flavor who always picks up the check, you talk to him all the time but he lives in a different state, he gives you compliments-flowers-sweets, or does whatever fits your fancy.

The best thing about a pseudo-boyfriend is that you can have more than one. You get the best of flavors in the doses you choose. One of them starts getting on your nerves. . . Take a break from him and hang with another. You don't even have to have the "we were on a break" argument. If there was a real commitment, it would no longer be a pseudo relationship. Guilt-free fun. While you wait for your Mr. Right, take a pseudo-boyfriend for a ride. And if you aren't too picky, they come in different colors and sizes.

What are you waiting for, start sampling yours today.

Thousands Die in the Slurpee Battle

50 years ago many in this country wanted nothing to do with colors. In fact they would kill in a effort to keep colors out of their homes. They would condemn their sons and daughters for adding color to their family.

Now they are ready to kill because they couldn't get color into their home. They are begging their children to bring color home. Brown, red, yellow, or orange. They want it all. Unfortunately they couldn't have it all.

Due to the downturn of the economy over the last 12 years, people went crazy for free slurpee day. Tuesday saw the worse case of death due to a lack of 7.11 oz cups for free colors. People fainted in the aisles, ran over babies, and some even dropped their babies. All because they wanted to bring color home.

RIP 7-1-1 victims. May you enjoy free slurpees in heaven. They won't stay frozen in the alternative.